I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
