I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Floor bacon is actually really good
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