just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
