Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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