Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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