dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
You ruined the universe
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
