i can't believe i had my finger in that
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
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