the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
