yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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