it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
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