omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
