my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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