So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
