i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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