wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
