If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I wish there were birth control emojis
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
