Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
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