i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize