i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
