i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Randomize
