i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Randomize
