PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize