I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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