so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
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