You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
