I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
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