Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
