I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
