I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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