Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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