I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Randomize
