We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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