When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
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