dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
