i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
stop calling my apartment porn island.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
