Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
