just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Drunk walkin through police station. America
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
