Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
