im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
