I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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