I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
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