We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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