i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
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