I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
