hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
