We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I know her cup size but not her name....
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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