you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Less talking, more tequila
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize