I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
You can't just leave with hair like that
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
the raccoons are back...
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