so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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