just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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