remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
