I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Randomize
