I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
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