Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
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