My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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