I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
He shit in the fireplace
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