she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
