Fuck appropriateness.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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