and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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