Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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