I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
