What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
