your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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