I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
