I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
