You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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