The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
