i'm signing you up for texting rehab
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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